never fails. zombie problems
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Oh look, pat left his tumblr open.
What a perfect opportunity to inform his lovely followers that he loves the penis.
also, duct tape on your arms, a few layers, but not too tight. basically it’ll stop a zombie taking a chunk out of your arm if you’re reloading or your blade gets jammed in a zombie
wearing a wetsuit underneath your clothing would also be useful. remember; they were human once, humans have blunt teeth! you try biting through duct tape AND a wet suit
never duct tape joints, your movements will be limited, and you want to be fast and danger (gotta go fast)
don’t hole up in small houses either that’s a recipe for disaster, you want somewhere with a secure upstairs, and a way down from the upstairs that is zombie free or can easily be cleared of zombies (avoid fire exits with steps leading up to them though, unless they have gates at the bottom)
sound = attraction, so if you do have guns, use them only in emergencies or for the sake of popping one head you’ll be greeted with many many more
raid your local medical shops, and get there first, nobody is going to stop and share it out equally while they’re panicking. don’t hit out at somebody unless they hit out at you, though, you already have unintelligent corpses pitted against you, you don’t want sentient humans on your case as well (zombies don’t do the revenge thing, humans do!)
try not to piss people off, because as stated before, yes, humans like revenge
don’t try and be clever and use yourself as live bait; yes playing the hero is glorious in movies, but it doesn’t work so glamorously in real life
large numbers isn’t a good idea. you want small groups, even if you just branch out from being in a larger group, because if there’s a lot of you you are a bigger target, but don’t then go off and decide to be in groups that are too small in case you get surrounded (in which case, the duct tape and wet suits will come in handy)
food shouldn’t be that hard to come by, most people would have attempted to flee the area straight from their houses and packed what they had, raiding local shops could still be worth it. but remember, know your way in, your way out, and double check there’s nothing in the shop ready to sneak up behind you while you’re reaching up for that tin of beans
half balaclava masks or something similar to cover your lower face while fighting zombies could also be useful, you don;t want to accidentally ingest flying zombie fluids and end up one of them, that’d be a nasty surprise for your group to wake up to (since going solo possibly isn’t a good idea)
and always, ALWAYS, have a way to start a fire on you
I love my followers so you need to protect yourselves.
even better, defeat Pestilence before he can start the virus
This is relevant cause i’m in a zombie movie…
Axes and crowbars are not only perfect for killing zombies, they are also capable of breaking down secured doors.
And never ever ever travel at night. A zombie’s ability to hunt won’t be hindered by darkness, but yours will.
You guys make me scared that this is actually happening now..
This is amazing but PLEASE DO NOT LIGHT ZOMBIES ON FIRE.
Zombies burn, yes, but they are still human-bodied and the human body takes extreme temperatures to burn completely - temperatures only found in industrial incinerators and crematoriums, not temperatures from ignited clothing or even gasoline fires (and why would you want to waste fuel anyway?). Zombies are immune to pain and can function with extreme bodily damage. They will continue to come after you until the brain is damaged enough to kill them permanently, and bone does not burn easily.
This means you won’t just have zombies after you, but flaming zombies. They will ignite anything they walk past, which could be incredibly dangerous if you find yourself in cramped areas with them. If you are in a building, this is even worse - they will light fire to the building!
Now, not only do you have flaming zombies to worry about, but also smoke inhalation - and the smoke from burning zombie flesh will not be good for you, even if you do escape. Do not use fire in a zombie apocalypse unless you are absolutely sure you have it under control. Fire is not your friend and you are not its master. It is dangerous and unpredictable and you do not need any more hazards to worry about.
Only burn zombies if you have them trapped in a place that will not catch fire easily, you have a reliable escape route, and the fire can be controlled (for example, disposing of mass zombies in a fire pit). Otherwise, do not use fire.
Don’t forget that guns can kill zombie pretty easy but like one of the previous comments they are loud but Bows and Crossbows are relatively silent and you can probably reproduce an arrow or crossbow bolt easier than you can produce a bullet.
no wait i never consented to this emotional trauma i just wanted to play a video game
^ Dark Souls
Why is this so awesome?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT POPCORN? IS THAT CHEESE?
You put melted butter on popcorn?
yes. welcome to the new age.
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